


Brittle

by Zyrieen



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Post-Apocalypse, Real or not real?, mid-credit scene spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:57:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6694051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zyrieen/pseuds/Zyrieen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>As the cold thaws, steam billowing around his body, for a moment he expects to be dragged to the Chair and wiped and given a directive. Instead, Steve is there, exactly where he was when he went under.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brittle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NekoNomi (RDSR)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=NekoNomi+%28RDSR%29).



> So I just went and saw Civil War and omg BUCKY (I'm going to be randomly squeeing 'Bucky!' for the next few days at least) and I wanted to write something because BUCKY and Nomi prompted this so here it is. Not proofread or beta'd and I'm not entirely happy with it but it's not going to get better by working on it more.

"Are you sure about this?"

No. Yes. He has to do this. As long as there are triggers in his head that turn him from Bucky back into the Soldier, he cannot be trusted. He tries to explain, and he thinks maybe Steve understands because he doesn't argue. Steve would argue with the moon if he thought it was wrong.

The 'bed' is slightly reclined to take his weight as he freezes, and he takes a moment to make himself comfortable, because he's going to be in here for a while. The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes and lets the familiar cold take him is Steve.

*****

As the cold thaws, steam billowing around his body, for a moment he expects to be dragged to the Chair and wiped and given a directive. Instead, Steve is there, exactly where he was when he went under. It's the relief and his still-thawing muscles both that send him to the ground when the glass slides back, but he's not even halfway down before Steve catches him.

"Sorry," says Stevie, sheepish and quietly desperate. "Didn't think about that." Of course not. Consequences what consequences? "How you doin'?"

"I'll tell you," Bucky forces out between cold-clenched teeth, "when I figure that out."

"Sorry," Steve says again uselessly, but at least this time he pulls out a blanket. "It's good to see you, Buck."

"Yeah," Bucky agrees, but inside his head he's shouting _Why?!_

*****

The view from the gently curving window is greener than he remembers, and he thinks maybe there used to be something out there – something big and black – but coming out of cryo always makes his brain fuzzy so he can't be sure.

"It's beautiful," Bucky sighs, his hand occupied keeping the blanket wrapped close around his shoulders.

"Yeah," Steve says, but Bucky knows that tone of voice really means no, but he's not sure if he wants to know yet so he doesn't ask.

But inside he's still wondering _Why?_

*****

This has always been a difference between them: Steve never runs away, even when he should, but Bucky? He's spent his whole life running from one thing or another, and he hasn't stopped yet. So when Steve shows him to what looks like a quinjet but much sleeker, he doesn't ask where they're going. Like he hasn't asked where the medical technicians were, or how long he's been out, or why he was awake.

But he wonders when Steve started running, and when he's going to stop.

*****

They're still in the air four hours later, he's pretty sure Steve doesn't have a plan, and he's had enough.

"The hell's going on?" Bucky growls, not bothering with preliminaries. He knows Steve's been watching him the whole time.

"Nothing," Steve sighs, and there's something bitter about his tone that raises the hair on the back of Bucky's neck.

"Bullshit," Bucky retorts without even thinking about it. "Why'd you wake me? What's happened? What if someone triggers the Soldier?"

"They won't," Steve says with certainty, that bitter undernote still creeping along the back of his neck.

"How do you know?" Bucky's getting angry now, because Steve's never been really good about his own safety and he couldn't take it if he was flipped again, used as a weapon against the only good man he's ever known. "Damn it Steve, this is why I wanted cryo! You can't trust me!"

"I can trust you Buck, I can always trust you," Steve insists, and it'd be heartwarming if it weren't so damned moronic. 

"You can't trust the Soldier! And that's who I'll be if they know those words, there won't be a Bucky any more, and the Soldier will kill you!"

"No one's going to trigger you, Buck."

"And how do you know that, huh? Jesus, punk, if Zemo taught us anything it's that anyone coulda found that. Do you even know how many people he coulda told? How many they coulda told? It could be anybody! It could be _everybody!_ "

"There isn't anybody left!" Steve shouts, then immediately controls himself, repeating a little quieter, "There's nobody else left."

 _What?_ "What?"

"Everyone's dead, Buck. You'n'me're all that's left of the whole human race."

"...это пиздец."

*****

"How long?" Bucky asks several hours later, once he's decided that the idea of being _the last two people on Earth_ is too big and he's better off trying to ignore it. _There's nobody else left_ keeps ringing in his head.

"You've been in cryo for over a hundred years. I'm...not actually sure how many. Things got a bit crazy for a while." 

_A bit crazy? The whole world's dead, Steve, how much crazier could it get?_

"How long have you been alone?" Bucky clarifies, because not once since he thawed out has Steve actually let him leave his field of vision.

"I'm not alone any more," Steve smiles, but it's brittle and bitter and manic, and there are ants tapdancing down Bucky's spine from how not right it is, but he takes the hint and doesn't ask any more questions. Yet. They'll have time for that later, apparently.

All the time in the world.

*****

They touch down at a farm Steve tells him used to belong to Clint Barton, and then his daughter, and then her youngest son. There's a kitchen garden, and chickens, and he can hear cows, and this? This is where Steve Rogers has decided to live, in the memories of what he's lost. It's not healthy, but then Bucky was brainwashed for seventy years and still has triggers in his brain so he's not in a position to throw any stones.

Steve starts rattling around doing the various jobs that keep the place running, and Bucky helps out where he can but there's not a whole lot he can do with one arm. It's intensely frustrating, but that tension that _something is wrong with Steve_ keeps him from lashing out. They bunk in the same room – Steve doesn't even try to justify it, just leads Bucky to a bedroom with two beds and tosses him a pair of sweatpants. The drawstring is a little tricky one-handed but he perseveres, and that little flash of triumph is enough to get him into the bed.

He eventually manages to sleep just before dawn. Steve is still watching him.

*****

He's freezing cold but getting warmer and for a dazed moment he wonders how the hell Steve managed to get him into the shower without waking him; but the feeling is familiar, he's coming out of cryo and he hopes he's in Wakanda because otherwise he's about to get wiped, and he opens his eyes...

Steve is in front of the tube, and he gives Bucky a bitter, brittle smile.

**Author's Note:**

> "...это пиздец." - _"...this is fucked."_


End file.
